Please try to remember that women’s nipples are not radio dials. Twisting them left and right will not turn her arousal up or down, for the most part it will only turn it off.

Although nipples are the closest thing a woman has to a penis (in terms of a visual signal of her excitement), it’s important to remember they are much more sensitive. Please try and handle them with care until the woman they belong to has communicated (directly or indirectly) the level of pressure she prefers. Very few women (or men) enjoy them being chewed or handled roughly. Most prefer them to be gently licked or sucked. Some don’t like them being handled at all.

Watch her body language, If she’s wincing and retreating while you’re twisting and turning, take that as a sure fire indication she’s not having fun. Just because a previous girlfriend went crazy for it, it’s not a given that anyone else will. If you’re unsure, just ask.

The Clitoris

Ah, the great enigma, that tiny little knob hidden away ‘down there’. The one we all grew up secretly aware of, but never discussed – let alone saw. That bane of (most) men, and many women’s, existence may appear tiny, but most of them are actually bigger than the appendages you men are all so proud of. Please don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t know this little known fact because no one, not even the medical profession, had any inkling of its size until 1981 when the Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Clinics created anatomically correct images of the clitoris. It wasn’t until 2009 that it was imaged in 3D, by the French, of course. The clitoris is much like an iceberg in that only the very tip is visible.

Don’t feel intimidated though, most clitorises don’t compete with the lightning speed at which your penis can shift from flacid to aroused. I can hear your collective groans, many of you are only too aware of this. But asking, listening, and improving your technique just might help.

A tip in assisting that knob to relax and achieve a faster orgasm, is to approach it much like you would a rare Fabergé Egg. With care. Abrasive rubbing, as if eliminating the 10 times table from a blackboard, will only guarantee that whatever arousal she began with will immediately be eradicated, leaving you worse off than when you started.

The same goes for oral stimulation. That stiff obelisk tongue or overly sloppy mouth will distract her from the task at hand. Remember, ‘harder’ does not a ‘quicker’ orgasm make. Again, start slowly and very gently, paying close attention to her subtle body movements. Is she pushing into you? Is she moving up and down, indicating she wants it faster? If she’s lying motionless, ask her to take your finger and show you, or to lick the tip of your finger with the pressure and movement she prefers. Ask her to communicate her likes. But asking isn’t enough. You need to follow through her directions.

It’s normal to feel embarrassed sometimes, but keep trying – she’s there to help. If that’s just not possible for you, then Google, Google, Google – but NEVER look to porn for education. Sites like – itsnormal.com, Normal’s Sex Blog: Sex Education & Guides or kama.co, Pleasure is health – are good places to start.