A client rang me to lament about a beautiful Norwegian girl he’d just seen at Bon Ton. According to him she had been ‘less than enthusiastic’ during sex, in fact she’d just ‘star- fished’ on the bed.
A nice enough man — mid-fifties with a dad bod, receding hair line and forgettable personality — he’s not the type that supermodels champ at the bit to bonk.
So, when he complained, I laughed. This girl was drop dead gorgeous — a perfect ‘10’ — the exact embodiment of what he insisted he wanted. I’d once asked the client why he never deviated from this model of escort. Like many other men, he informed me the hot girls at school always overlooked him. He could now make up for those rejections.
I asked the client, “Could your unrealistic requirements be the problem?” I pointed out that, while the Norwegian had failed to fulfil her contractual obligation (she was later informed that ‘enthusiasm’ was a non-negotiable part of the job), it was important to remember this was a business transaction. His money in exchange for access to her beauty, not her genuine desire.
By their early twenties, most beautiful young women are finely tuned to the privileges their sexual currency affords them. Mistresses in manipulating the power of their pussy, they know that — beyond breathing — not much is required to spark the omnipresent male desire. This is a message repeatedly endorsed by men like the client, men who will do anything for a piece of their pie.
But these women, like powerful men, prefer to be challenged, and for this reason they typically bestow their genuine desire on young studs. Any other man must keep their expectations low, as well as be willing to part with plenty of cash. The plethora of sugar daddy/elite dating sites aimed at vulnerable, lonely, or narcissistic men confirms the requirement for plentiful cash, allowing beautiful young women to fleece wealthy older men and both can pretend it isn’t prostitution.
I suggested the client might like to expand his horizons. “Why don’t you try someone a little older, or a size bigger? You might be pleasantly surprised. A ‘7’ or an ‘8’ will be less consumed with themselves. You’ll have much more chance of a genuine connection.”
‘No thanks’ he replied.
I wanted to laugh, but knew I had no right. I know why he believes only a perfect ‘10’ will fill that hole. How can any woman who worships at the altar of eternal youth make judgements of men who suffer identical insecurities?
For forty years, I’ve worked in two industries that commodify women’s bodies — fashion and sex. Despite claiming to celebrate diversity, models have been expected to starve themselves to fit the fashion industry’s cookie cutter image of beauty until very recently. Entering fashion at twenty-five, I was already old and wrinkles would be a death warrant. I was only valued — and learned to only value myself — if I was young, skinny, and smooth as a baby’s bottom.
The sex industry is the same. Clients (both male and female) perpetuate the demand for perfection. I would love to represent all shapes, sizes and ages but, sadly, I can’t make people book them.
Culture and advertising play a huge part in our perception of what makes us happy and what we’re drawn to. Ever wondered why men from late imperial China found broken and bound feet erotic? Or why Swahili women in Africa never embraced the painful and restrictive boned corsets worn by colonial women who arrived on their shores? Men in the western world are subjected to a relentless bombardment of photoshopped images of females with childlike beauty. Unrelenting messages saying association with a perfect ‘10’ will improve their social standing.
What will future generations think, when observing retrospectively, the sea of collagen lips, deforming fillers, silicon boobs, and skeletal figures accompanied by ubiquitous Louis Vuitton handbags? Would they still score them a perfect ’10’?
